Oops…

OK, well so much for continuing to blog. I swear I stink at keeping up with it. Then again, everyone goes through “dry spells” when it comes to blogging, writing or anything like that.  Sometimes I even think we, as humans, get bored with social networking like Facebook and twitter and sometimes even just emailing. I know I do anyway.

Actually that is the ONE thing I hate about myself sometimes. Take yesterday for instance… I twisted my foot and hurt it so I basically am stuck on the couch or in my bed to rest my foot, which basically means I either watch TV or do stuff on the computer. Yesterday just happened to be one of those days where the computer was boring and there was not a single interesting television show on. It came down to staring at the walls while listening to music. Seriously, Facebook was boring- not even games could interest or entertain me. It seemed like no one was even online yesterday either. I just hate it when I’m stuck doing nothing as it is and then the computer and whatnot can’t even entertain me.

OK, OK- I know… I’ll get off my soapbox and stop ranting now. 😛

Alright, well NaNoWriMo is coming up.  For those of you who do not know what NaNoWriMo is… it stands for National Novel Writing Month. This is when writers or whoever write 50,000 words in one month, basically. It sounds hard and I know a lot of people who have been able to do it several times over or even their first time ever doing it. I, for one, have never been able to do it. Partly because every time I write or try to write a Novel I start thinking its stupid halfway through and then lose my interest and then the horrid writers block sets in.

However, last year I was doing decently until my laptop up and died on me. That in and of itself really put a damper on the whole thing and I just couldn’t concentrate on it anymore. So once again last year was a big fat epic fail.

This year I really am hoping I can make it but if not, oh well. I think its more of a fun thing than anything else.

So, Happy October, Happy Writing and Happy NaNo Preparing! 😀

~Becky

One Year Ago

One year ago today my best friend and I should have died.

I know that sounds odd or even dramatic but in all seriousness, it is true.

I still remember the day fairly well, although some details are a bit foggy to me. I remember my best friend coming over and hanging out for a while before we were planning on leaving for church. That was the day we took this photo of us together.

We had both put that photo as our facebook primary and we kept that photo up for a long time after.

Anyway, I remember us laughing and giggling and having a good time when we were trying to take the photo. We just had a good day, a good afternoon and had a lot of fun. I even remember what I made for dinner that day, chicken, broccoli and probably mash potatoes.

There are two different ways you can take to get to church. One way is quicker than the other, but had to go the longer way because she had to stop and do the recyclables for her parents. Her mom was on a trip to Tennessee at the time too, so to help her out she was planning on doing that on the way to church- which meant the long way.

I remember when we left and Brit took a left turn and I remember teasing her that she could of gone the other way too. Either way we were on the long road that we would be on probably for a good 10 minutes before our next turn. She had at one point turned on music and we were singing and laughing. We probably hadn’t be on the road for very long, maybe a few minutes and we had only be in the car driving all together for maybe 10 or 15 minutes when we came to our first intersection. Of course the intersecting road had stop signs, we didn’t so we just keep going.

“What is this guy doing?” I heard Brit while I was looking out the window and I looked over just in time to see a dark car right in front of us. I remember seeing her slam on her break and turn the wheel, trying very hard to swerve and miss the guy who had ran the stop sign- I closed my eyes, balled myself up against the passenger door.

When I opened my eyes my head was leaning against the door window and the seat belt. I didn’t move right away but I knew I was still in the car. I turned and looked ahead, I saw the broken windshield and the deflated air bag. Through the broken windshield I could see the black car further down the road, it’s driver was already to our car and Brittany was out talking to him.

It all hit me at once. This wasn’t some kind of dream, or sick joke for that matter… this really happened and man did my mouth hurt! My hands flew up to my mouth and I let out a nervous wail. I felt a hand on my knee and I heard Brittany say, “Becky… you need to calm down!”.

I seriously wanted to bust up laughing right there. Mostly because she was on her phone with her dad crying and sobbing so badly he couldn’t understand her. I just sat where I was. I felt very dazed and tired. I looked in the mirror in the sun visor to see why my mouth hurt so bad and I could see I was bleeding in my mouth somewhere. My lips were swollen and I had cuts around my mouth. My chest was bothering me pretty bad and my knee was bothering me.

I glanced out my window and I saw a truck slow down and stop. The driver was a man and behind him peering around him was, I assume, his wife. I remember seeing the look of shock on her face and then her quickness to get out and help. She got to my door first but she couldn’t get it open. Her husband (or whoever) had to open it for her. He went over to Brittany and helped her… he took her phone and talked to her dad because she was too upset to make sense.

“Has anyone called 9-1-1?” the woman asked me and I stared at her like… huh? Oh… right. My answer was simply, “I don’t think so.” I found my cell phone and gave it to her. While she was on the phone with them and telling them everything they needed to know, at one point she walked away.

I took my seat belt off and I tried to get out of the car, suddenly I panicked. “I can’t move my legs!” I screamed, Brittany was immediately in the car looking at me, screaming back “What?!”… then I started to feel the pain in my foot. It looked horrible, swollen bruised and a couple toes looked deformed. “I think I broke my toes…” I was quieter that time.

At some point Brittany was off her phone and I snatched it to call my mom. No answer. Darn. But then the woman who had used my phone to call for help was finished I had decided to call my dad. Service must have been not very good were we were because it was breaking up and once again the woman helped by talking to my dad for me. She told him where we were and since we lived fairly close my mom and dad came to the scene. (I kind of wished they hadn’t.)

About 10 minutes after calling my dad the fire department arrived. One man came to me and was putting a neck brace on me. I remember hearing a scream and looking over to see Brittany running at my mom and hugged her so hard my mom had to try hard not to fall over. I could see she was crying and apologizing to my mom, saying “I’m sorry” over and over again. Other than my initial reaction that was the first time I reacted during this whole time. I gasped.

While they were trying to get me out of the car, I remember seeing my mom standing in front of it crying and my dad holding her from behind, probably telling her it was okay or something.

Eventually they got me out of the car and into the ambulance. That was terrible experience too! My chest already hurt and it made it difficult to breathe being flat on my back. My mom rode to the hospital in the ambulance with me. Once we were moving it was terrible too because the bumping made my chest hurt even more and made it that much more difficult to breathe.

Once we were at the hospital (the air conditioning made me cold!), I had x-rays done. We were probably in the ER for a good 2 hours. I remember at one point after the x-rays we were just basically lying in our hospital beds waiting to hear something or to be released and Brit yelled across the hall, “Hey Becky?” … “yeah?” … “Are you thirsty?” … yes- I laughed. She asked her nurse for some water and also asked her to get me some water too. Imagine my surprise when a nurse showed up beside me and handed me a cup of water and said, “Your friend ordered this for you.”, of course I laughed again.

Turned out Brittany was fine other than some bruises and pain. I was pretty much the same except I had two broken toes.

Well it was an experience and Thank God he kept us safe!

Sleep…

What is sleep? I mean… what is it really?

OK, ok… no this isn’t going to be one of THOSE posts where you give your deep thoughts on a stupid subject. Kind of like that Cosby Show episode where Denise has her boyfriend come over for dinner so her father can meet him. Of course her dad is the only one who hasn’t met him because of those ill phrased words he used oh so many episodes prior, “How ugly is he?” referring to her date in the first episode of the series.

Anyway, so her boyfriend and father in this particular episode are contemplating school and grades and her boyfriend asks, “What is an A? What does an A really mean?”, of course Denise’s lazy brother, Theo responds with, “Exactly!” as if he totally gets this conversation. Naturally, we find out that Denise’s boyfriend, whose name is David by the way, gets all A’s. This is usually where I chime in, every time, and say “Obviously your school isn’t very good if you get all A’s and you don’t even know what an A is or means.”.

OK, back to my rambling about sleep. Here is my huge ramble that I wrote all of the previous stuff about just to say this: I want sleep.

OK I said it, post’s over!

 

 

 

 

 

 

… Seriously? No I’m not done! haha 🙂

Alright, so Monday night I probably got all of 2 or 3 hours of sleep. It was a bad night and I was exhausted all day yesterday. Last night I slept a little better but today I still feel so incredibly tired. My eyes are heavy and they sting. I feel like I could fall back to sleep for another several hours but I just don’t want to take the risk of ruining my sleep for tonight.

My dog has been acting strange lately too. It’s odd. He sits on my bed at night and cries and whines and he just won’t settle down, after a while I finally put him on the floor because he acts like he wants be down there. But then he paces the floor and still won’t settle down and then he cries and whine even more so eventually I just have to put him back up in my bed and try to ignore him.

*heavy sigh*

I just don’t know what to do with the little monster.

OK, I am finally finishing this post… off to find something that will make me feel more awake. 🙂

the Cow Killer

This morning I was outside walking my little 7 pound porkie… *ahem*, I mean Yorkie and I saw a big fat ugly red ant. These things are so ugly and so bright red you think of danger!

It’s a good darn thing too. I decided to look them up, since I don’t really know much about them despite seeing them all the time growing up and whatnot. I suppose it’s one of those things where you know of it but that about where it begins and ends. Turns out these little buggers are actually wasps. The females are wingless but the males have wings AND the females have stingers the males don’t. Good to know… especially because they got their name “The Cow Killer” because the females sting is supposedly so painful it could kill a cow. (it doesn’t really kill cows and it won’t kill humans either).  However, it sounds like the sting is worse than a normal wasp or bee sting and you would swell up pretty bad.

It is safe to say and with good reason that I am now officially more afraid of these little ant/wasps than I am of nor

mal wasps or bees and they even look scary. At least they are a bright red so they are easy to spot in the green grass or brown sand.

The interesting thing is growing up we called them red fire ants, those ants do exist but they are MUCH tinier and almost more orange looking. Even now my friend calls them red fire ants, sadly she gets them a lot around her house… that’s where I see them the most too. She lives in a farming area, corn fields nearby and they have cows.

July is almost over and it’s hard to believe. I have a lot coming up in August… I suppose. On August 5th I have dental surgery, woo! >insert sarcasm<, and at the end of the month I have my retaking of the drivers test. I am going to pass this time too. At some point early in August I’ll probably go to the county fair with my friend. We go every year except I missed last year so I have to make up this year. Last year I didn’t get to go because of being laid up with broken toes from the car accident.

Can’t wait to finish out the summer with a bang!

A Change

Since it had been so long since I last wrote in this blog I had decided that it needed a change and to revamp.

So I introduce to you, Refining Rebecky.

I’m not quite sure how I came up with the name except that my life is changing some and I’m sure that through life I will change some and be more refined. Plus, Rebecky is a nice nickname that my friend Caitlynn gave me and it’s probably the best nickname I’ve ever been given! 🙂

Today I had to stay home from church because I wasn’t feeling too good and I even got sick. My stomach isn’t bothering me much anymore but I have had a pretty nasty headache all day. I’m wondering if its all sinus related… the headache part anyway. It wouldn’t really surprise me at all if it was.

Well, I believe this concludes this post and I hope everyone enjoys reading the new, revamped Blog! 🙂

A whole year…

Wow, I completely forgot I even had this blog and it has been a whole year since I last posted.

Funny thing is, I posted a year ago yesterday on my dads birthday. Yes, that means yesterday was my dad’s birthday and tomorrow is my niece’s birthday. I can’t believe she will be 5 years old.

So a lot happened since the last time I posted. Well, okay not a lot but enough. I mean, come on a whole year went by! Probably about 6 days after I last posted (remember this was a year ago) my friend and I got into a car accident. We were okay for the most part just banged up and bruised and I broke 2 toes. The sad part was this is the same car that had broken down earlier in the month and after the accident it was totaled.

Not much else has happened since then other than I had to get my permit again and I took drivers education. I took the drivers test to get my license in June but I failed. I’m retaking it in August. I really hope I pass!

Well, I guess I will write again later… hopefully I will keep up with this blog this time. 🙂

Why I write…

My friend Joanne had written in her blog at one of her blogging buddies request about why she writes. I loved her story and I thought it sounded like fun so I’m going to write mine too! 🙂

Why I write

I don’t exactly remember when I first realized I loved to write. I can remember when I was a young girl constantly keeping a journal or diary. I can remember having the need to write, not necessarily wanting to write but just feeling like I had this itch this feeling… that I wanted to grab a pencil and start jotting things down. I used to write stories when I was little but mostly I wrote in my diary, even if it was simply “I’m sick today. I didn’t go to school.” and then about a week later I would once again write, “I’m sick today… again.”.

When I write I get this contented feeling. It’s not that it makes me happy but I suppose it makes me content. I think that is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world, to just be content. When I was about fourteen years old was when 9/11 had occurred. That was about the time when I started dabbling in Poetry. I remember one of my first poems was about 9/11. I soon realized that Poetry was an outlet for me. I could rhyme and mess around with the words but it helped me to explain how I felt or what I was thinking in an artistic sort of way. I continued to write in my diaries of course but then I started to write poetry more often.

It wasn’t until I found Faithwriters through a friend who found out about it through her sister when I started to experiment more with stories. I had continued to grow and get better in writing and it made me even more content. Eventually, I had found Christ. I think God had used a lot of things to draw me to Him and realize that I was not yet His. However, because of the anger and hurt I held in my heart years prior and using my poetry writing as an outlet, I do believe God used my writing more than anything else.

After I was saved one of the first things I did was write a poem about my experience. I write because I love it, because it’s a great way to get out my frustrations, and I do it, most of all, for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Phew! That took a lot but I really had to think about it and I hope what I wrote was sufficient. 🙂

a breakdown

Well the last 24 hours has been quite fun to say the least and I feel so exhausted I’m not sure if I can even tell the whole story.

My friend had text messaged me yesterday morning asking if I wanted to go to the mall with her because she need to buy black dress pants, I told her I didn’t have any money but that I would go so she could have company. Well then she said that was cool and maybe we could go see “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” while we were there and she would pay for my ticket. I thought that was a good idea so that’s what our plans were. Although my mom ended up buying our tickets online for us and my friend only had to pay for her own ticket.

Nonetheless we went to the mall and shopped around. After we killed enough time we got some dinner in the food court and then headed to the movie theatre to get our tickets. The movie was great, it was really cool. The only annoying part was when people would flip open their cell phones and one kids phone actually started ringing behind us. We were kind of perturbed at that.

Anyway, after the movie we headed home, only on the road maybe 5 minutes when my friends car breaks down at a traffic light. She tried restarting it but it wouldn’t come on. She ended up calling her dad who said he was on his way, a good 45 minute drive, and told us to call 911 in the meantime. So we did and they sent an officer out to us. He helped us move her car out of the way and onto the side of the road. Needless to say it was fun.. NOT. By the time her dad got there it was nearly 11 and they decided to just let me stay the night at her house. I didn’t really get much sleep at all but I managed. We ended up getting up early this morning to go clean out her car and then drive to church. I’ve now been home for maybe 3 hours or a little more and i’m still exhausted wishing more than anything I could get some sleep.

…oh joy!

Have you ever…

Have you ever been so bored that nothing appealed to you? Or even anything that did appeal just didn’t work out? That is where I find myself today.

I woke up sort of early this morning or at least earlier than I had been this week. I got up and made coffee, got online and checked a few things, I finally found myself watching TV and sipping my coffee. Eventually the TV started to bore me so I came back online to check a few other things, Facebook, email, etc. (by the way, I wonder if Facebook is an actual word in the dictionary now?) Finally I was done with that and found myself bored again. Nothing on TV was interesting, the next thing to do was to browse through the Netflix and see what is available for streaming. Finally, I gave up when I was coming up empty.

So, here I find myself blogging away relentlessly trying to come up with something, anything to undo my boredom. I’ve already nixed out TV and movies, I don’t feel like reading since I usually try to save that for bedtime because it makes me nice and sleepy, not because the book is boring mind you, just because it makes my eyes heavy and sore as if I haven’t blinked in hours and then all I want to do is close them and sleep.

Now I am content right now writing in my blog but I’m just thinking about once I’ve finished this because alas all good blogs must come to an end. Sad to say I know but it’s the truth. 😛

…Maybe I should give up and read after all. I would bake something except I don’t want to use up any of the flour, sugar, eggs and butter we already own since my mom is supposed to bake cookies for my brother later as it is. I think I shall leave the baking to her at this point, but perhaps I can bake something tomorrow. Just so we have something to nibble on for the weekend. 🙂

July… wow!

I can’t believe it is July already. It seems like just yesterday it was February and we were digging ourselves out of 2 feet of snow.

Well, I thought that I should write in this thing considering I created it not too long ago and have yet to write. Oh procrastination, How I love thee! 😉

I have to admit, I was thinking about my grandpa last night and when he prays. I think one thing I love is how when he prays he uses words like thee and thou or what-not. My grandpa has a very soothing voice, at least to me he does. He also has a great singing voice too. I love listening to him talk and sing, it gives me a peaceful feeling.

I just recently started reading “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. I must admit that at first I wasn’t quite getting it but then it became more and more clear. I’m still not sure what to think about it. I mean it just seems strange to read these letters written by Screwtape, who is a demon and he is writing them to his nephew, a junior tempter. It’s all so bizarre but it a weird way it might be a good thing to read. At least I can see how Satan can use even the small things to tempt us Christians and fall away from God. At the same time though its making me wonder, do demons and the evil ones have that much power? I mean even in the book it makes a comment along the lines of  listening to their thoughts or something along those lines but it was to my understanding that Satan doesn’t have that kind of power. I mean I think maybe he could hear us when we speak out loud but I didn’t think he was omniscient. I guess I feel like we give the enemy too much credit and maybe that’s how I’m feeling with this book too. At the same time I wonder if that is a weakness? I mean what if we were to doubt or undermine the power that Satan has, I wonder if that can be used against us in some way, therefore being a weakness. We are supposed to be ready and on guard after all…